420 ftw
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
