youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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