Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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