You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
