This girl is more easily done than said...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
