I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
