you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
