so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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