i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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