so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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