White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
