He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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