I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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