I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I skipped work to stalk him.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
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we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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