ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
