Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
