I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
