I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
