yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
