apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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