Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
