Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize