Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
