The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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