That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
