Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
