I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize