i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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