It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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