I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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