i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
