I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize