I am in a vortex of obligation.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my shit smells like andre
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
