I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
