drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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