maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
