:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
