if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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