I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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