You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
