Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
