Pappa wants mamma naked
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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