just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
