I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
