oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Houston, we have a blender
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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