I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Text me some of your sweat
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