We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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