at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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