Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
