Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
