somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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