there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
birth control should be required to get into college
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
