I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize