What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
