I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize