I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
