NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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