I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize